They say you can never go home again...

Again, I have neglected my duty of keeping people up to date with my adventures in the land of fire. So, I will do my best not to make this the worlds longest blog entry, but alas, I have much ground to cover. So where to begin?

I am currently home in America for the very first time in 2 years, 3 months and 5 days. I am spending 30 days visiting with family, friends, and taking care of business that needed to be done. Needless to say, now that my body is down to a size 11 from a size 18, I needed all new clothes. I must say, walmart looks pretty good when your options are few and far between at the local bazaar in Ganja. I've managed to eat terriyaki, Thai, pho, Mexican, Italian, and traditional good ol' unhealthy American food since I've been home. And it all tastes even better than I've been imagining. I've driven a car for the first time in almost two and a half years. I washed laundry in a washer, and then dried it in a dryer. I've had countless hot showers that don't require me to heat the water before hand. When I got cold, I turned on the heat. I've even enjoyed helping out around the house. Vacuuming seems so much more fun when you haven't been able to do it for so long. Seeing so many people has been a great joy. But sadly, it is true what they say. You can never go home again.

Since I have extended my service, I had worried that coming home for a month would make me not look forward to coming back to Azerbaijan. Many volunteers say that it's hard to find motivation once you go home and then come back. I, on the other hand, have found it more of an inspiration than anything else ever could have been. This chance to come home has been good, but it has made me appreciate the things that I do miss about Azerbaijan.

First and foremost, I miss my Azerbaijani husband. He is kind, honest, sweet, hard working, has a great sense of humor, and always knows how to make the bad days into good ones. On September 21st, we were married at the ZAGS office in Baku, Azerbaijan. That day is by far, the happiest and most incredible day of my life. It was the highlight of my Peace Corps experience, and I feel honored to have found my soul mate on the other side of the world while trying to find myself. We will be doing a larger wedding ceremony at the end of November, but this one was even more wonderful than I could have ever imagined. With the dates for my extension of service leave already set, and the ministry setting our wedding date, my hands were tied. I had to leave only 2 weeks after our wedding. Not really how we had imagined our first month of marriage to be... apart. However, having higher speed Internet connection does have a bit of an advantage, but nothing can substitute for being by his side.

Second, I miss the pace of life in Azerbaijan. I miss making my own schedule. I miss not having to worry about time. In Azerbaijan, I am truly blessed to have such a wonderful community. My host organization is run by the most amazing and wonderful boss I've ever had in my entire life. He is kind, patient, open to new ideas, optimistic, and always works to keep his volunteers and staff happy. So I am fortunate enough to be able to make my own schedule. I don't have a set time to come into the office. I come in whatever time I finish my housework or morning errands, and then I stay until my planning, classes, clubs or activities are complete for the day. Then I go home. And every day is a joy. I actually look forward to going to work. How many people can say that about their job? I miss that life in Azerbaijan is at a more leisurely pace. I miss that schedules are lose, and that people just go with the flow. It's harder to come back to America when everything runs by the clock all the time. It can be inescapably stifling at times.

Third, I miss the people. I miss their open minded, positive attitudes. I miss the optimistic youth who are constantly striving to make a better world for themselves and their families. I miss how the people sincerely care about your answer when they ask "how are you?" The culture can be so much more intimate. Which at first, can be frightening, and feel intrusive. But in reality, I have more best friends in Azerbaijan than I do now in America. My friends, host family, and students all genuinely are a big part of my life. They are what carries me through the rough days. They are my Azerbaijani family. And I miss them.

Finally, I miss my job. It gives me a sense of purpose in this world like nothing I could ever describe. I love being a Peace Corps Volunteer. The lack of money and material possessions are nothing when compared to the rewards I receive in return. This summer, I saw the graduation of more than 60 students from three consecutive 8 week programs for my annual Youth Civic Leadership Academy. Then, I took not just one group, but two groups of students to a summer Leadership Camp. I got to know them, what they dream of, what their passions are, and what gives them so much strength and determination. It was the highlight of my year. I worked along side of three of the most amazing Azerbaijanis I've ever met. One of which I married the following week, and the other two were standing right by our side as if they were blood related family. My job is closely tied to my heart. I cannot separate it because it is what gives me so much joy. Being a Peace Corps Volunteer may be difficult at times, but there are a million moments of joy for each moment of frustration.

It is true, you can never go home again... my physical home is no longer where my heart lies. Azerbaijan has captured it deeply, and I am looking forward to returning. I don't know what my third year in the Peace Corps will bring, but if the first two years are any indication, the adventure is far from over.