Will you marry me?... wait which girl is it again?

So my host uncle Ramiz turned 33 in March. Since his mother passed away last year, he has been living alone in her house... as is custom for the sons to live with their parents. However, Ramiz is not married... yet.

Yesterday, to my surprise Arzu (my host mother) and Johnny's (host father) sister both got dressed up and were preparing traditional wedding baskets. They went shopping for clothes, cosmetics, and jewelry the day before. When I asked what all the huff was about, I was informed that Ramiz was getting engaged. I know that Arzu has been very stressed over her youngest brother being the last single person in the family, so I was very happy for her. However, on further questioning, I found that they have never even spoken, let alone seen each other. They have never even seen a photo of each other. So, yesterday, for their first time meeting, he proposed. She is 24, and is an english teacher at one of the local institutes.

This struck home for me a bit, as in 2 weeks, I will be turning 25. The official last year of hope for marriage in Azerbaijan. Many girls joke that you must be married by 25 or you will be forever stuck at home since no one wants to marry an old person. I have to laugh a bit at the oddness of thinking 25 is old. It does sadden me a little to think of people getting married out of fear of being alone. I could never imagine marrying someone I didn't love, let alone someone I know nothing about. In defense of their tradition however, both of them are so happy just to be getting married that I can't help but be excited for them. Weddings are the major social event in Azerbaijan. It's how women get out of the house and can be seen by eligible men in a respectable manner. They can dance, eat, and drink (a little) while spending time with their friends and family. It is the way to meet new people.

In fact, weddings are so important here, that they not only have one... but two. For each couple. They begin with the "giz toy," or girl wedding. This wedding is usually all friends and family of the bride (about 1-2 hundred at the one I went to last weekend.) Food can usually be anything from all sweets (cakes, cookies, fruits, nuts, etc.) to a full on meal (plov-like rice- meat dishes, fruit, kababs, etc.) The tables are filled with drinks of all kinds... champagne, wine, juice, sparkling water, soda, etc, etc, etc. There is a ceremony where the bride will cut a ribbon, and then we all dance for hours on end. Not to mention the speeches that go on for hours. This wedding, the bride has the option to wear a dress of any color she chooses. Many choose big fancy red dresses. Also popular, is a white dress with a red ribbon around the waist. She will also finally be able to pluck her eyebrows. A sign that she is married in this culture.

After the giz toy, there will be an "oglan toy" or the boy wedding... also known as the real deal. This one is much bigger, usually has all the guests... some weddings have hundreds of guests. There are traditional dances, singers, speeches, presentation of the plov, and so much food it puts American Thanksgiving to shame. The bride will wear white for this ceremony.

Before the ceremony, the groom will drive to the brides house, and they will present her with a wedding mirror for luck. Then, they will all get into festively adorned cars, and a whole procession will drive through the town blaring music and horns as they head to the wedding hall. There are at least 20 wedding halls in Ganja that I know of. Then, they will announce the couple as they come in, and the first thing they will do is sign the wedding certificates. Then, a toast of champagne is made, and pictures and dancing will begin. Each table has their pictures taken with the couple, and generally at least one camera man will be following us around all evening.

Needless to say, these events can be difficult for PCV's. With limited language abilities, and a smaller social net work, we are often told to eat more, dance more, and wind up with a head ache from 6 hours of very loud music. All in all, the event is fun. I have now been to two giz toy's, and they were both upwards of a hundred guests. Ramiz's wedding will be my first oglan toy. I'm nervous, but am looking forward to it immensely.