Will you marry me?... wait which girl is it again?

So my host uncle Ramiz turned 33 in March. Since his mother passed away last year, he has been living alone in her house... as is custom for the sons to live with their parents. However, Ramiz is not married... yet.

Yesterday, to my surprise Arzu (my host mother) and Johnny's (host father) sister both got dressed up and were preparing traditional wedding baskets. They went shopping for clothes, cosmetics, and jewelry the day before. When I asked what all the huff was about, I was informed that Ramiz was getting engaged. I know that Arzu has been very stressed over her youngest brother being the last single person in the family, so I was very happy for her. However, on further questioning, I found that they have never even spoken, let alone seen each other. They have never even seen a photo of each other. So, yesterday, for their first time meeting, he proposed. She is 24, and is an english teacher at one of the local institutes.

This struck home for me a bit, as in 2 weeks, I will be turning 25. The official last year of hope for marriage in Azerbaijan. Many girls joke that you must be married by 25 or you will be forever stuck at home since no one wants to marry an old person. I have to laugh a bit at the oddness of thinking 25 is old. It does sadden me a little to think of people getting married out of fear of being alone. I could never imagine marrying someone I didn't love, let alone someone I know nothing about. In defense of their tradition however, both of them are so happy just to be getting married that I can't help but be excited for them. Weddings are the major social event in Azerbaijan. It's how women get out of the house and can be seen by eligible men in a respectable manner. They can dance, eat, and drink (a little) while spending time with their friends and family. It is the way to meet new people.

In fact, weddings are so important here, that they not only have one... but two. For each couple. They begin with the "giz toy," or girl wedding. This wedding is usually all friends and family of the bride (about 1-2 hundred at the one I went to last weekend.) Food can usually be anything from all sweets (cakes, cookies, fruits, nuts, etc.) to a full on meal (plov-like rice- meat dishes, fruit, kababs, etc.) The tables are filled with drinks of all kinds... champagne, wine, juice, sparkling water, soda, etc, etc, etc. There is a ceremony where the bride will cut a ribbon, and then we all dance for hours on end. Not to mention the speeches that go on for hours. This wedding, the bride has the option to wear a dress of any color she chooses. Many choose big fancy red dresses. Also popular, is a white dress with a red ribbon around the waist. She will also finally be able to pluck her eyebrows. A sign that she is married in this culture.

After the giz toy, there will be an "oglan toy" or the boy wedding... also known as the real deal. This one is much bigger, usually has all the guests... some weddings have hundreds of guests. There are traditional dances, singers, speeches, presentation of the plov, and so much food it puts American Thanksgiving to shame. The bride will wear white for this ceremony.

Before the ceremony, the groom will drive to the brides house, and they will present her with a wedding mirror for luck. Then, they will all get into festively adorned cars, and a whole procession will drive through the town blaring music and horns as they head to the wedding hall. There are at least 20 wedding halls in Ganja that I know of. Then, they will announce the couple as they come in, and the first thing they will do is sign the wedding certificates. Then, a toast of champagne is made, and pictures and dancing will begin. Each table has their pictures taken with the couple, and generally at least one camera man will be following us around all evening.

Needless to say, these events can be difficult for PCV's. With limited language abilities, and a smaller social net work, we are often told to eat more, dance more, and wind up with a head ache from 6 hours of very loud music. All in all, the event is fun. I have now been to two giz toy's, and they were both upwards of a hundred guests. Ramiz's wedding will be my first oglan toy. I'm nervous, but am looking forward to it immensely.

Work-a-holic... nothing new there

Well this weekend will be another working weekend for me. We finally kick off the Inter-Caucasus English Writing Olympics (competition between 4 countries). I'm excited to say that my city has had winners published the last couple years, so I'd like to keep the tradition going if possible. Ganja State University has been kind enough to let us use their building for the event. This should be a good opportunity for some of the high school students to meet some of the older students that are participating.
Aside from that, I've been once again working on getting the International AIDS Candlelight Memorial project going. It looks like I will be able to get a little bit of help from the Azerbaijan Alumni Association (or a few of their members) in coordinating the event. A few of my fellow PCV's are also helping out with the project. I'm looking into writing a grant for the cost of candles for the event. (Yeah, grant writing is defiantly not my thing...)
Our advanced level book club is now entering its third month, and the students are fantastic! We cover everything for current events (courtesy of Newsweek) to classic fairytales in English. We will shortly be moving on to poetry, theater, short fiction, and eventually our course will culminate in the translation of English materials into Azerbaijani. The students enjoy the chance to use their current skills, while improving their knowledge of western culture through reading and discussion.
Movie, Art, and Conversation Clubs are all still going in full swing. I am staying as busy as ever, but am certainly looking forward to a little bit of a break!

Settling In for the Long Haul

This month is my ninth month in service, and with that mark comes the right to move out on my own finally. There are many benefits of living independently in Azerbaijan, including privacy; the ability to cook for yourself; the ability to have guests over whenever you want (as late as you want) without disturbing anyone; and the ability to feel slightly American in a foreign land. All of these things can often improve moral, and can lead to a volunteer enjoying their time in Azerbaijan independently.

However, living independently here is a choice. It is not a right, but a privilege. A volunteer must find their own housing that meets the Peace Corps standards (and there are many of them.) On top of meeting the standards, a volunteer must also meet cultural standards... many women are turned away from independent housing because Azeri culture does not deem independent living as normal for most young women.

All that being said, I must also point out the disadvantages of living independently. The cost is higher. On top of rent, we must pay electric, water, gas, telephone, and any other utilities that are not covered in the monthly cost. We must purchase our own food, which can be much more expensive than having a host family cook for us. Independent living also decreases our daily interaction time with Azerbaijani culture and lifestyle. As a result, our language abilities may decline with less daily usage. Host families can be incredibly helpful in introduction to the right people, protecting us from the wrong people, and for teaching us about cultural norms.

In light of all this, I have decided to stay with my host family for the duration of my time in Azerbaijan with a few modifications. I have switched rooms, and now have two rooms on the end of the house with my own entrance. One room is now my kitchen, the other is my living/bedroom. I have two big built into the wall cabinets for storage. (One is my pantry.) I have a small wall cabinet, and a big closet dresser. I also have a vanity and cabinet, and a desk. I have plenty of natural lighting as my kitchen is windows mid-wall to ceiling on two walls. This affords me plenty of space and storage, and a bit more privacy than what I had previously. My host family has graciously agreed to give me all this space for an even lower cost, which gives me a little bit more money to buy my own food. I have finally unpacked all my items for the first time in nine months, knowing that I won't (hopefully) have to move again until September of 2009.

I must state that it is not the norm for a volunteer to choose to live with their host family for the whole of their service. However, I feel that this is an opportunity for cultural experiences and learning that I would not be able to get through independent living. It certainly will not always be easy, but I know that I will learn much more for the experience. Sacrifices and challenges are part of being a Peace Corps volunteer... and as the saying goes, whatever doesn't kill me, will only make me stronger.